Email Expert's comments:
Dear Mr Journeyman
your email is very good as it is: fluent, matter-of-fact and polite.
I have made a few changes but many of them are matters of taste.
I have made my feedback into a small 'lesson' on letter and email writing. With it I wish to point out how well structured your formal email was.
Best regards
Ms Email Expert
Tanzania Broadcasting Corporation
P. O. Box 9191
Dar es salaam - Tanzania
info@tbc.go.tz
To whom it may concern:
I am a journalist from the Finnish Broadcasting Company. I am planning a private excursion into Tanzanian society next autumn.
One part of the project is that I would like to visit your news desk and /or editorial staff making current affairs programmes.
I would appreciate it if you could send me the contact information of a colleague who could be a host to me during my stay there.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely
Mr Alex Journeyman
LAYOUT: the full block layout of a formal letter both in the American and the British style. This was recommended in our Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary's guidelines 2000. But on the net you can see that it is widely popular. For example,
www.savvy-business-correspondence.com/FormatofBusinessLetters.html gives you samples in the American style.
SALUTATION
To whom it may concern: AmE
Dear Sir / Madam BrE
MESSAGE
Quoting Rosemany Richey: Business writing basics,
www.onestopenglish.comGuidelines to writing messages:
Decide on the important points to write in your message.
Write short messages: 1 page for letters, 2-4 short lines or paragraphs for emails.
Be direct; use simple and polite words.
Avoid long, complicated sentences.
Write for the reader, not for yourself.
Your message is just that. However, putting it into paragraphs would perhaps make it even clearer. I have done that, plus adding a few missing articles and making some changes. But your message is very fluent and clear without these changes, too.
COMPLIMENTARY CLOSE
Looking forward to hearing from you.
I look forward to hearing from you. (more formal)
Sincerely
This is one of the phrases used in a formal letter and recommended in the American style. For the British guidelines, visit
www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv153.shtml And for BBC advice on netiquette, visit
www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/grammar/learnit/learnitv245.shtml SIGNATURE
The first name should also be mentioned. And if it is unclear whether it is a man's or a woman's name, you can use the title.
Mr Alex Journeyman
